Uh-oh. I don't like this adventure. Not one bit.

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sarcarstic:

onlylolgifs:

Why You Shouldn’t Take Selfies Right Next to a Moving Train


im sorry but

sarcarstic:

onlylolgifs:

Why You Shouldn’t Take Selfies Right Next to a Moving Train

im sorry but

alishalovescats1701:

paul-blarty:

misuse-of-fandom:

So I got a detention today.
Which is kinda dumb because I’m (mostly) a model student, you know? And get this - Heres what Im in for: I said…*whispers* ~a swear word~ in class. 60 minutes of punishment for the phrase: “That’s really shitty.”
So this is how it went down: I’m sitting in math class last hour before break and my teacher hands me a little slip saying that i gotta go see the vice principal. And im thinking, “damn, i thought she forgot about that.” The horrible cuss word was uttered a few days beforehand and, well, i figured she didnt even remember. I walk down there (in my full-body cat kigurumi btw) and mrs. Whatever isnt there. So i mull around and steal a candy cane off the offices mini fake tree (Im already in trouble anyways so gotta go big or go home) until finally, i talk to the desk lady who calls the vice principal down. We walk into the room and start to have a chat about how our high school doesnt tolerate swears bluh bluh etc and that i should find alternatives to cussing. Thats where this picture comes in. This lady just fucking WHIPS this goddamn list out of nowhere and shows it to me in a completely serious manner. “Heres some examples of words you can use when you want to swear.” W H A T.
Goof nugget? Sweet onions? Shooby Darn??? Pokemon??????
And here she is in all seriousness and im trying not to laugh while asking if i can have a photocopy because this is actual comedic GOLD. This sort of phooey doesnt actually happen in real life, right? I mean holy snappin turtles what the frog is this Skikaka? Jumpin Jiminy, Public school is bogus!
EDIT: A few people were confused as to why some of the phrases were crossed out. Apparently the vice principal found this list online and deemed those words to be too “inappropriate”. She also told me to circle which word I was going to use from now on, which explains why “pokemon” is surrounded in red pen.

SON OF A POKEMON

WHAT IN THE WILLIAM SHATNER IS GOING ON HERE?

alishalovescats1701:

paul-blarty:

misuse-of-fandom:

So I got a detention today.

Which is kinda dumb because I’m (mostly) a model student, you know? And get this - Heres what Im in for: I said…*whispers* ~a swear word~ in class. 60 minutes of punishment for the phrase: “That’s really shitty.”

So this is how it went down: I’m sitting in math class last hour before break and my teacher hands me a little slip saying that i gotta go see the vice principal. And im thinking, “damn, i thought she forgot about that.” The horrible cuss word was uttered a few days beforehand and, well, i figured she didnt even remember. I walk down there (in my full-body cat kigurumi btw) and mrs. Whatever isnt there. So i mull around and steal a candy cane off the offices mini fake tree (Im already in trouble anyways so gotta go big or go home) until finally, i talk to the desk lady who calls the vice principal down. We walk into the room and start to have a chat about how our high school doesnt tolerate swears bluh bluh etc and that i should find alternatives to cussing. Thats where this picture comes in. This lady just fucking WHIPS this goddamn list out of nowhere and shows it to me in a completely serious manner. “Heres some examples of words you can use when you want to swear.” W H A T.

Goof nugget?
Sweet onions?
Shooby Darn???
Pokemon??????

And here she is in all seriousness and im trying not to laugh while asking if i can have a photocopy because this is actual comedic GOLD. This sort of phooey doesnt actually happen in real life, right? I mean holy snappin turtles what the frog is this Skikaka? Jumpin Jiminy, Public school is bogus!

EDIT: A few people were confused as to why some of the phrases were crossed out. Apparently the vice principal found this list online and deemed those words to be too “inappropriate”. She also told me to circle which word I was going to use from now on, which explains why “pokemon” is surrounded in red pen.

SON OF A POKEMON

WHAT IN THE WILLIAM SHATNER IS GOING ON HERE?

prufrockslovesong:

naturallybohemian:

This motivated me to study. Thanks tiny cactus.

THE TINY CACTUS IS BACK

prufrockslovesong:

naturallybohemian:

This motivated me to study. Thanks tiny cactus.

THE TINY CACTUS IS BACK

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

lokiloo:

My Buddhist friend was stopped by a Christian fellowship and asked if she would consider following the word of Jesus Christ. She replied, “No, thanks, but maybe next time around.”

I don’t think they got the joke but I nearly died laughing.

cecstrong:

blackoutofgretely:

cecstrong:

hey straight people how’s that going for you?

fine actually. how’s being intolerant of nature’s choices going for you?

it’s going real great! i don’t understand why the leaves fall off the fucking trees in the winter and it pisses me off

(Source: itsmylifeleavemealone)

dosageofdisney:

mistclub:

i just realised…

it would’ve been really easy for mrs. incredible to give birth

image

my face when I realized what this meant…

"Some" days

"Some" days

(Source: toppingfromthebottomx)

captgrif:

Don’t forget that.

-Burnie Burns

fartgallery:

kids that look exactly like one of their parents are so weird, it’s like they’re the lowercase and uppercase versions of a person

(Source: indigofragments)

Always be kinder than you feel.

- Unknown (via fuckinq)

(Source: thedailypozitive)

tigermisu:

 in this book i’m reading it says “he plucked a flower and stuck it in his buttonhole” and i completely misread it and now im laughing im actually 5 years old

well that put me in a shit mood

whykhan:

benedictcumbvrbatch:

HOLY FUCJ RACHAEL WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS OT ME I CANNTO BRETHEE